Common Reasons Why You Fail

Today I want to write about a subject that is a close to me, and probably close to every entrepreneur. It is a sensitive topic, and that is why it's not always discussed. Some might think, failure doesn't belong in the subject category of winners. But, it that couldn't be more wrong! Failures are the way we get forward and the ways we learn. It is only a failure, if you stop to learn, take or if you don't get up get up for the next round.

So. Why do you fail, or why do I fail? Why do good people fail? You hear about a nice guy or your friend who failed despite his great effort and good intentions.

The most common reasons people fail are:

Their fears are larger than their faith

They become seduced by the chatter of their loudest fears. First comes up with an idea and as soon as we get out of our comfort zone our fears start to take over, and we get scared.

You have to practice walking into your fears as a daily basis. You have to be comfortable in fear.  It's a practice. Step into that unknown.
As you do that you build up neural pathways - and it becomes easier EVERY day. Every change hurts a bit in the beginning.

We all have a threshold regarding how much we can take. Find out how much uncertainty you can live with.

They blame outer conditions for their failure

Every master was once broken. There is no hero that was not a disaster. Look at any great artist, entrepreneur or musician - you will not see anyone that did not suffer. So, looking at their outcome, it seems that they were able to outsuffer their peers.

They simply saw an opportunity in what others considered adversity. Most importantly, they did not stop.

Many stumble, they fall and when challenged become demoralized and they give up. As a result they feel bad about quitting.
This is why point 1 is so important. Just getting used to fall every day and getting up as a matter of habit without thinking about it as a failure or abnormality. Allow your heart to be broken over and over again until it opens.

They allow themselves to be distracted constantly

I'd say this is the single most important reason today - also for me. People are addicted to distraction from their mobile phone. It's simple: you can do right now something that 90% of the population is not doing ... you turn off that phone. We have known for a long time that repeated interruptions affect concentration. With our heavy use of digital media, it could be said that we have taken multitasking to new heights, but we’re not actually multitasking; instead, we are switching rapidly between different activities. Better concentration makes life easier and less stressful and we will be more productive.

Practise concentration by finding things to do that specifically engage you for a period of time to the exclusion of everything else.

If you're interrupted all the time how can you focus on your mission?
Should you really be pursuing your shiny toy and check your notification that at the end of your life will amount to triviality?

Low confidence

You need confidence in order to go on when you fail. Whatever the method: meditation, solitude, internal focus. If you are not confident, you will have to understand and go back to the reasons why you don't feel confident. It might also mean that you have to return to those things that are taking your confidence levels down. These reasons might be hidden, even 'ugly' to your conscious awareness. It can be you would deny these reasons if somebody confronted you about it in public.

If you feel unconfident, the first thing to do is to admit to yourself the reasons why you are unconfident and what keeps you awake in the night:

"I feel unconfident and unease in my current situation because my marriage is  based on ‘negotiation’ to get things done rather than love, mutual
understanding or commitment", or ... "I feel unfulfilled because I am not giving the time and love to my family that they deserve and instead I am living the life what my social circle expects and therefore I feel like a moron". Confessions to yourself can sometimes feel hurtful and admitting the truth painful.

That is why so many bite their lip and go on continuing with situations that won't bring them really anywhere. And for what? Sometimes it is in order to keep up a sand castle that will fall anyways with a loud bang after a couple of years.

The most successful people are most often not necessarily the smartest in the room - but probably the most humblest and most persisting. They have the humbleness to admit the truth about what restrains them and what takes them forward. Because if you are not honest about the facts, you will be out of business very quickly.

They have the persistence and are ready not to give up at a time 'it's normal to give up'.

Quit overthinking everything. Stop obsessing about your failures. Stop doubting yourself. You are better than that. You deserve more, so start showing up differently.  Below some startup acronyms 😉

FAIL = First Attempt in Learning

END = Effort Never Dies

NO = Next Opprtunity

 

It's more about your daily habits than your genius when it comes to succeeding. The best entrepreneurs, CEO's or recognized people are most often not the most gifted people in the room. They just exploit their talents more than their peers.
You too have the opportunity to exploit your talents to the maximum, but the question is are you installing the right mindsets, heart sets for bringing your craft to the benefit of others and to the world.

 

Photo by Edu Lauton

Forgive Today

You want be at the top of your game, but you are stuck in the past. There are people who have hurt you and you can't reach full productivity because negative thoughts are popping up in your mind. They have a discouraging impact.

Think like this: When you go through life, you're gonna be hurt.
Don't forget, the people who hurt you were doing the best they could in that situation where they were in their journey. So...forgiving...is a gift you deserve.
If you don't forgive you are working like person with a weight on their back.

My question to you is how can you:
-Be authentic
-Create efficiently
-Be legendary
-Be at peace
-Be you
if you are burdened with guilt, hate and shame - living in the past.

 

These 4 ideas will help you forgive

Feel the feeling, don't escape

When someone had really hurt you, do you escape or do you process it through. Don't repress, go through. Many escape the feeling of pain, anger, rage. If you don't feel the feeling you will repress the feeling into your subconscious. And it will stay there. Everything will be in you and you will walk with it and project on other people. Now you are not living in the moment but you will be looking through the world how you are in your repressed state in pain and anger, guilt and shame. Talk with a friend. Talk it out.

Understand don't judge

We don't know what's going on in the internal orbit of the person that hurt us. Everyone is behaving in the context of their personal reality. They reacted based on their understanding of reality.

Speak your truth even when your voice trembling

It's a sign of self respect. Tell them how you feel. It's gonna release some energy and anger that you feel.

Release don't repress

You see so many people happily smiling and saying I'm fine! But in reality they are still in 1972 with pain suppressing sadness, anger and rage. Feel the feeling. Talk with a friend. Go to the woods and beat a tree with a stick.

Live in the moment and release what happened to you in the past! Otherwise you will be looking at the world through a filter, where the reality is distorted with pain, anger, suffering, rage and hate. Don't make a disfavor to yourself carrying baggage.

 

Photo by Dawid Zawiła

Beat Distraction Today

Today, think about a method how you will manage to maintain a distraction free environment - if only for an hour.

Create a tight bubble of total focus - it's clear that by allowing your phone on you are letting other people's priorities run your day.
Stop letting so many disruptions and distractions get in between you and your work/mission today
This time leave your phone and technology in another place

 

Then you will be able to go on a focus level that supports creativity and deep thinking.

And...If you want to give right now, it's very simple. You can give something that is really valuable in today's world: give your pristine and undivided attention to somebody today!

Without checking your phone or being interrupted by beeps of social media.

 

Photo by Steve Johnson

Quiet Period – Rethink your Thinking and Rewire Your Life

Do you have these quiet periods of life? When you're not producing anything, nor being efficient on the outside?

It could be you are processing pain. And you feel you are in the Valley of Darkness - away from the world.

Is it another season for you? Like the Season of Growth. When it's a time to read the great books, and write in your journal. To rethink your thinking and rewire your life.

On those times ... you might think "I am wasting my time". Your emotional universe is filled with guilt. Because you are not doing, and your schedule is not full and you are not producing.

But ... what if those times are actually being productive in another way? Producing - not in the world but within yourself. Producing new energies. Producing new emotions. Transforming your fears into love.

Because in order to let go, to release you have to go through the pain. And when you release those fears then you grow in bravery.

What does that do to your craft? What does that do to your power?

You are renewed, you look at your skills with new eyes. You see things that were hidden.

A break away can serve you well.