DisIntegration Experiences: 2

In the coming weeks I am posting extracts from my upcoming book. It's is about my experiences trying to integrate into different societies.

I convey my journey in countries and societies, based on my perspective and only my own experiences. I communicate my trials and errors of integration to you – without any filters. Welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. This platform is not complete without your contribution.

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Experiences on Integration: 1

Welcome back to Red Breast’s blog after a long break!! It’s been hot here in Portugal lately – I hope the rest of you are enjoying a more cool summer somewhere out there, even if I doubt it.

News. I am working on a new project - a book. In the coming weeks I will posting extracts here … So stay TUNED!  This book is about my experiences trying to integrate into different societies.

This not an embassy-approved manual of vaccinations needed, nor a best-practices guide of how to hob-knob at a local cocktail party. It lays bare the psychology of being a stranger in a foreign society. All is based on personal observations and experiences without referencing solely previous works, neither statistics nor research.

Who might this be for? For anybody who is interested in understanding what lies beneath the stereotypes of encountering and living in new societies.

I hope this no-nonsense account will give you more perspective of the true values, interests, preferences, strengths and weaknesses of living abroad than a regular travel book. Because the best truth, is what happened.

I lived my first 25 years in Finland, before moving first to The Netherlands, then to the UK and France now Portugal.

Back soon ...

 

 

 

 

Be True to Yourself – Speak Up Now

Are you somebody who sits back and says nothing when something really needs to be said? It could be an idea, a suggestion, an observation, a criticism ... but for some reason you don't want to speak up. Well, I was.

Some people might say like staying silent is the wiser choice – and it does apply to some situations.
But there are a few reasons why despite the risk, standing up is a good choice.

‘You must feel the fear and speak your mind anyway. Then act in spite of fear. Act in spite of anything.
So often people sit back and say nothing when something really needs to be said. Speaking up is an important form of honesty – for yourself’

 

gandhi

Think about fear. Why are you frightened? Imagine you feel in your guts that you want to say what you think. Say it, and it will bring you relief and release your emotions.
- If you stay silent it is usually taken as if you would agree. And if you don’t say what you wish, what could be further from the truth – it will later frustrate and create resentment in you.

You may not be alone in your thinking. Others may share your thoughts and opinions, but may be also unwilling or fearful to speak up. By speaking your mind you also encourage them to voice their opinions. If you say something that is considered irrelevant and unimportant then you voiced your opinion anyway: and if this is criticized in the group – it is a sign that the dialogue is not open.

Speaking up demonstrates that you will be truthful not only with other people, but with yourself. And when you practice this – it will flow naturally to speak up as your confidence improves, even if you would be an introvert.

 

Photo by Ricardo Mancía

The Roman Character: Let this determine what you do and say and think

NO ONE EVER SAID THAT life is fair.

As for you, do you gain strength from Nietzsche's adage ’that what does not kill you makes you stronger’ ? Or do you put your fists in the pocket and boil for the next hour, or days?

If you want to master this day, understand from those that have been and predict those to come.

Do external things distract you? Then make time for yourself to learn something worthwhile; stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions. Remember how long you’ve been putting this off, how many times you have given way to confusion. At some point you have to recognize what world you belong to; what powers rule it and from what source you are made of. There is a limit to the time assigned to you, and if you don’t use it to free yourself, it will be gone and will never return. Everyone gets ONE life. Let that determine what you do and say and think.

Ignoring what goes on in other people’s soul – did anybody ever come to grief that way? No. But if you won’t keep track of what goes on in your mind and what your own soul is doing – how can you not be unhappy.

Concentrate every minute – on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine conviction - tenderly, willingly, with justice. Yes you can – if you focus and do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life. Stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you – stop being hypocritical, self-centred and irritable.

Then you see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life.