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Today when I look back at all the positive and negative consequences of my fateful decision to leave Finland my Fatherland, I can say with my hand on my heart that the premature cut of my umbilical cord with my home country has been a truly positive experience. I know I took moving abroad seriously. It was uncomfortable at times, but probably the most uncomfortable aspect of it all would have been the alternative - staying at home and dying without having really loved or lived.

Although the deep psychological trauma I would suffer as a result of leaving my home country somewhat clouds my current perception of the moments surrounding this experience – the biggest single memory I have of that moment is - I knew I wanted out from there and definitely was not going back anytime soon.
As far as I could see, my home country, usually, among the top in the world for education, social security, and economical development had nothing to offer for a bored graduated student like me. I did not give a penny of the pro-Nordic propaganda screaming about the country’s gender and economic equality, high levels of trust, social cohesion, life-work balance, and so on. The latter things are important and back then I probably took all my freedoms for granted.

6 years of studies were behind, it was spring in Helsinki and I was about to graduate from my studies. I wanted out - as fast as humanly possible.

Fear in a new place When people ask me whether it was worth it to move abroad, I say yes. I encourage people to travel the world and move abroad. There is nothing but a win-win in moving abroad. That doesn’t mean it is always easy. You are going to a new place with new people who think differently than you about things. Move to a country where for a long and indeterminate period, you will just be an alien with a funny accent, sometimes desperate to fit in, and, depending on where you move, someone that also “looks different”: you can be considered a threat, a job stealer, even an outcast.

Fitting in and initial excitement The initial excitement of being somewhere new will fade and you’ll be left with all the problems you thought you moved away from and new ones that come along with leaving home. Dealing with years of built-up issues can make it incredibly difficult to keep yourself intact. And we can safely say that every one of us has built-up issues that start popping up once we hit the ‘out from the comfort zone’ button. The first years abroad are usually tougher. For me, it usually takes 6 months to get comfortable in a new place. This is the time it takes to know a bit around, get some acquaintances, and experience the first impression.
Even small things like in the beginning can seem like a struggle. And because you are alone without your native friends and support network, even small setbacks can feel overwhelming. This is why it is important to establish a local network. I do not know one single person, who has moved abroad and at some point has not felt alone and broken. You are not a coward. You are a normal human with normal feelings in reaction to the challenges of being in a foreign place without your native friends or family. And it is healthy to acknowledge these feelings. With adjusting to new cultures come feeling out of place and lonely.

Connect with other like-minded people You can also connect with other expats. With foreigners that are living outside of their home country I share the curiosity for the unknown and an exploratory mindset, among other things. You have faced a basic set of similar kinds of fears, challenges and obstacles. So even if you did not have similar schooling, cultural background or weather conditions – you are now sharing and bonding thanks to identical challenges or mutual decisions made. You can always say that a foreigner is a courageous character.

When you travel abroad, something will change. And that change will not always be smooth. I'm reminded of the many times that I've had to use reprogramming to help myself and the way that I did this, was first of all, I realized that something needed to change.

A clearer sense, ability to examine things more objectively Later in life - after living abroad for many years, I would understand that when living abroad, my exposure to novel cultural values and norms would prompt me to repeatedly engage with my own values and beliefs, which would be either discarded or strengthened. It stands to reason that having a clear sense of self elucidates which types of career options best match one’s strengths and fulfill one’s values, thereby enabling people to be clearer and more confident about their career decisions.
When people live in their home country, they are often surrounded by others who mostly behave in similar ways, so they are not compelled to question whether their own behaviors reflect their core values or the values of the culture in which they are embedded. In contrast, when living abroad, people’s exposure to novel cultural values and norms prompts them to repeatedly engage with their own values and beliefs, which are then either discarded or strengthened.

How would I be different had I stayed in Finland? I cannot know for sure, as it did not happen and I did not stay. What benefits do I have now as a result of venturing abroad, and what are they. I have gained a clearer sense of who I am as a result of living years abroad.

Here, in these posts, I invite you to read snapshots of different situations I have faced along the way. Enjoy!

 

Photo by Tommi Tarkkonen

DisIntegration Experiences: 5

I convey my journey in countries and societies, based on my perspective and only my own experiences. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. This platform is not complete without your contribution. Posting extracts from my upcoming book.

Sites were full of colorful online reviews about the Paris, their airport plus their service and attitude:  "You cannot have a world class airport with third world transport to the city center”  “One simply grits one's teeth",  “Zero out of ten impressed”, “Wondering if terminal 2D could be the worst airport terminal in Europe". "Crowded, dirty, terrible shops, no catering, and the only lounge is airside, meaning that you have to leave the (admittedly poor) lounge one hour before the flight departs “This terminal requires immediate demolition!" "Certainly unlikely to bother visiting Paris again as not worth the unpleasant experience of the airport"

Knowing now what I know about the hideous shit I would dip my fingers into during the next ten years after my arrival to Charles de Gaulle airport – I just hope I would have had some sense and taken the next plane out of the country right there and then. Hell, I wish those canister throwers would have reached the airport and chased me to Germany, or anywhere else for that matter!

Photo by Skyler Smith

DisIntegration Experiences: 4

I convey my journey in countries and societies, based on my perspective and only my own experiences. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. This platform is not complete without your contribution. Posting extracts from my upcoming book.

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Don’t get me wrong; I am very fond of my friends in Finland. The most trustworthy, pragmatic and genuine people this side of Sahara.  But would I want to live in Finland? Would I want to raise my kids in Finland? Would I want to marry a Finnish woman and stay there? I tell you what: In winter, you'll freeze – that's assuming no one shoots you, or you don't shoot yourself.

Among a not only one source, Finland ranks third in global gun ownership behind only America and Yemen; has the highest murder rate in western Europe, double that of the UK; and by far the highest suicide rate in the Nordic countries...

 

DisIntegration Experiences: 3

I convey my journey in countries and societies, based on my perspective and only my own experiences. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. This platform is not complete without your contribution. Posting extracts from my upcoming book.

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PROLOGUE (THE FOREIGNER)

With hindsight it was pretty far from the best moment to arrive at the main airport in France that Friday night in November 2005.

It was pouring with rain, and by Saturday 4th, the ninth of unrest and protest, there had been 259 arrests, a dozen men and women had been injured and more than 2,141 vehicles burnt. The suburbs of Paris were ablaze and the fever had spread uncontrollably to Lyon, Strasbourg and Rouen - political mismanagement fueling the rage of the most impoverished of France's citizens. Cars had been torched and buildings smashed. Riot police moved in, firing rubber bullets and tear gas. Fighting escalated. The rioters grew in number to 400. The Sunday before word spread that a tear-gas canister of the kind used by the police had been thrown on to the doorstep of the Bilal mosque up in northern Paris...

 

DisIntegration Experiences: 2

In the coming weeks I am posting extracts from my upcoming book. It's is about my experiences trying to integrate into different societies.

I convey my journey in countries and societies, based on my perspective and only my own experiences. I communicate my trials and errors of integration to you – without any filters. Welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. This platform is not complete without your contribution.

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