Today I want to write about a subject that is a close to me, and probably close to every entrepreneur. It is a sensitive topic, and that is why it's not always discussed. Some might think, failure doesn't belong in the subject category of winners. But, it that couldn't be more wrong! Failures are the way we get forward and the ways we learn. It is only a failure, if you stop to learn, take or if you don't get up get up for the next round.
So. Why do you fail, or why do I fail? Why do good people fail? You hear about a nice guy or your friend who failed despite his great effort and good intentions.
The most common reasons people fail are:
Their fears are larger than their faith
They become seduced by the chatter of their loudest fears. First comes up with an idea and as soon as we get out of our comfort zone our fears start to take over, and we get scared.
You have to practice walking into your fears as a daily basis. You have to be comfortable in fear. It's a practice. Step into that unknown.
As you do that you build up neural pathways - and it becomes easier EVERY day. Every change hurts a bit in the beginning.
We all have a threshold regarding how much we can take. Find out how much uncertainty you can live with.
They blame outer conditions for their failure
Every master was once broken. There is no hero that was not a disaster. Look at any great artist, entrepreneur or musician - you will not see anyone that did not suffer. So, looking at their outcome, it seems that they were able to outsuffer their peers.
They simply saw an opportunity in what others considered adversity. Most importantly, they did not stop.
Many stumble, they fall and when challenged become demoralized and they give up. As a result they feel bad about quitting.
This is why point 1 is so important. Just getting used to fall every day and getting up as a matter of habit without thinking about it as a failure or abnormality. Allow your heart to be broken over and over again until it opens.
They allow themselves to be distracted constantly
I'd say this is the single most important reason today - also for me. People are addicted to distraction from their mobile phone. It's simple: you can do right now something that 90% of the population is not doing ... you turn off that phone. We have known for a long time that repeated interruptions affect concentration. With our heavy use of digital media, it could be said that we have taken multitasking to new heights, but we’re not actually multitasking; instead, we are switching rapidly between different activities. Better concentration makes life easier and less stressful and we will be more productive.
Practise concentration by finding things to do that specifically engage you for a period of time to the exclusion of everything else.
If you're interrupted all the time how can you focus on your mission?
Should you really be pursuing your shiny toy and check your notification that at the end of your life will amount to triviality?
You need confidence in order to go on when you fail. Whatever the method: meditation, solitude, internal focus. If you are not confident, you will have to understand and go back to the reasons why you don't feel confident. It might also mean that you have to return to those things that are taking your confidence levels down. These reasons might be hidden, even 'ugly' to your conscious awareness. It can be you would deny these reasons if somebody confronted you about it in public.
If you feel unconfident, the first thing to do is to admit to yourself the reasons why you are unconfident and what keeps you awake in the night:
"I feel unconfident and unease in my current situation because my marriage is based on ‘negotiation’ to get things done rather than love, mutual
understanding or commitment", or ... "I feel unfulfilled because I am not giving the time and love to my family that they deserve and instead I am living the life what my social circle expects and therefore I feel like a moron". Confessions to yourself can sometimes feel hurtful and admitting the truth painful.
That is why so many bite their lip and go on continuing with situations that won't bring them really anywhere. And for what? Sometimes it is in order to keep up a sand castle that will fall anyways with a loud bang after a couple of years.
The most successful people are most often not necessarily the smartest in the room - but probably the most humblest and most persisting. They have the humbleness to admit the truth about what restrains them and what takes them forward. Because if you are not honest about the facts, you will be out of business very quickly.
They have the persistence and are ready not to give up at a time 'it's normal to give up'.
Quit overthinking everything. Stop obsessing about your failures. Stop doubting yourself. You are better than that. You deserve more, so start showing up differently. Below some startup acronyms 😉
FAIL = First Attempt in Learning
END = Effort Never Dies
NO = Next Opprtunity
It's more about your daily habits than your genius when it comes to succeeding. The best entrepreneurs, CEO's or recognized people are most often not the most gifted people in the room. They just exploit their talents more than their peers.
You too have the opportunity to exploit your talents to the maximum, but the question is are you installing the right mindsets, heart sets for bringing your craft to the benefit of others and to the world.